Spector Defector: A Reality Farce?
Six months on and the seemingly ground-breaking reality TV experiment Celebrity STD island is in crisis after failing to the secure lucrative advertising contracts it required to pay its stellar cast.
The show has continued apace despite failing to entice a satellite broadcaster, hoping to build a steady internet presence which would allow a downmarket obscure digital channel to invest at a later stage. The show is now in crisis as no investor has been prepared to risk the wrath of the militant middle-England shit rag The Daily Mail.
Advertising chiefs are said to be boycotting the reality show after a raft of negative publicity from right wing Nazi magnet The Daily Mail. Phil Spector’s £1m fee is still said to be ‘outstanding’ although the big haired lunatic was quoted as saying “I’m not so sure about this being ‘outstanding’. I’m short of £1m pounds and have rent boys to pay. I find it frankly distasteful that the producers would degrade the situation by describing my fee as ‘outstanding’”.
Cheeky mmouthed 'tashe fan Cannon is said to be considering seeing other people after the recent fracas, telling his gay lover Ball that "I love you, I'm just not in love with you".
Last week, Cannon & Ball walked off the reality TV flop after a controversial dispute, where Cannon contracted herpes courtesy of Kenzie from Blazin’ Squad, but refused to share his disease with long-term life partner Ball. The duo’s relationship is said to be reaching ‘boiling point’.
Footy piss head Paul Gascoigne was recently slated by elements of the right wing press after continuing to anally pound his AIDS riddled step-daughter, despite already having collected her ailment. Writing in the Daily Express, former Tory hotpot Edwina Curry described the continued buggery as ‘distasteful’ and ‘an affront to the delicious female species’.
The show’s producers, Mule Productions, defended the back door ravenry, releasing a statement which suggested it was ‘mild hochmagandy between two grown individuals, both seeking greater media exposure at all costs’. It also claimed no responsibility for the actions of ‘media starved jizz magnets’.
Reporting is limited due to ongoing legal disputes, but recently deceased fun park curating moonwalker Michael Jackson is said to be reconsidering his bloated corpse’s participation after a raft of teeny fanmail urging him to leave the island in order to reignite his adolescent trap fairground.
Once legal restrictions have been lifted, we will bring you more…
Jodi Mullen replied:
Would Mule Productions care to comment on reports that overly toothed cum monkey Janet Street Porter has confounded Celebrity STD Island’s team of failed gynaecologists posing as doctors by evolving a hitherto unknown STD deep within the dark, dank recesses of her cavernous spunk bucket?
October 19, 2009 at 1:01 am. Permalink.