FINAL SIX CELEBS CONFIRMED FOR THE ISLAND!!!!!!
Television’s most controversial reality show ever, Celebrity STD Island, has finally confirmed the remaining six guests. Producers Mule Productions announced the remaining names after weeks of wrangling over contracts with some of the world’s most famous stars.
The show is based in the former prison camp on Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (the Americas, think south of the USA) and is set to feature 16 high profile celebs who all arrive on the island with one sexually transmitted disease. The winner is the celeb to catch the most STDs by the end of the 8 week show! Celebrity STD Island: Gotta Catch ‘Em All!!!!
The news everyone has been waiting on was finally announced today! The final 6 idiots who have volunteered to have their bodies ravaged by sexually transmitted diseases in exchange for a nominal cash sum and the hope of future media contracts are: Michael Jackson, Jordy Chandler, Harvey Keitel, newly single Katie ‘don’t call me Jordan’ Price aka Jordan, Condie “don’t you dare call me condie” Rice and Judge Judy.
The amazing fuck fest will begin in the next few days and it is rumoured that several ‘celebs’ have already complained about producers trying to force them into sexual encounters, clearly misunderstanding the purpose of the show and failing to comprehend their own obvious inherent quest for publicity at any cost. We say: Shut the hell up ‘celebs’ – this is live tv – you’re nobody without us – you don’t shit if we don’t say shit!!!!
Vag faced leper Wacko Jacko is said to be eager to use his unorthadox facial willy hole to entice the show's "younger" celebs to part with their valued STDs
Serial child rapist jacko is obviously the biggest name attached to the show, and rumours are rife that he only decided to do the show after former teen brown love jobby jabbing idol Jordy Chandler agreed to take part, although Wacko is said to have commented that Chandler “isn’t the boy he once was”.
Harvey Keitel is keen to fuck his own mother given half a sniff, and producers feel he will be great entertainment for the late night web cam sessions.
Rumours also abound that Condie “Don’t you dare call me Condie” Rice and Judge Judy have hit it off big time backstage and are quite happy to pass their diseases between each other’s horrible right wing vaginal cavities. This has come as a major disappointment to the Chuckle brothers and Floella Benjamin, who were both said to be keen to give Condie a pressing conference and were determined to crack Judge Judy’s case.
Gun waving big haired mentalist Phil Spector is said to be delighted at the inclusion of several big named US stars, as he feels the distraction may allow him to shoot multiple female contestants in the face, followed by the obligatory raping, all whilst the cameras are focused on more ‘media friendly’ celebs.
Producers were also said to be finding it difficult to stop bevvy lovin’ ball kicking genius Gazza from splitting his step daughter in two prior to the start of the programme. Shouts of “Gazza, we’re not even on air yet” have become legendary around the holding bay, with the immortal response “it doesn’t fucking matter, any hole’s a goal, Tottenham for the cup” gaining a reputation as a viable response.
Overly toothed cum monkey Janet Street Porter is the 3/1 favourite to win the show, closely followed by 3.1276/1 fav and gentleman’s preference John Virgo. Early focus groups show Wacko Jacko is considered a “Dirty Peado Bastard”, but still puts him third favourite to win.
Keep on the blog and find out which celeb will be the first to CATCH EM ALL!!!!!
